Trauma bonds form when people live in unsafe environments where they are forced to rely on abusive individuals to provide them with essentials like safety, food, money, or emotional support. Childhood abuse and trauma is a leading cause of trauma bonding. According to Trends of Psychiatry and Psychology, one meta-analysis “estimated that more than three quarters of children on the planet have had some moderate or severe experience of physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse . . . affecting almost 1.5 billion children aged between two and 17.” Emerge Recovery TX helps women heal from the effects of trauma bonding and co-occurring issues, including substance abuse or trauma-related mental health disorders.

Definition of Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonds are emotional connections created between two people in a relationship when one person abuses or manipulates the other as a form of control. For example, minors groomed for sexual exploitation often form trauma bonds with the people abusing them. According to Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, “In many cases, a vulnerable youth is enticed into a relationship with a ‘boyfriend’ through gifts, dates, and attention. A ‘trauma bond’ is then formed with the exploiter, in which the youth is willing to do what the exploiter asks, including sex acts with others, to preserve the relationship.” Stockholm syndrome is an example of trauma bonding in an extreme situation. 

Some of the primary risk factors for developing a trauma bond include: 

• Sex trafficking and other forms of sexual abuse 
• Domestic violence 
• Childhood trauma, including adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
• Kidnapping
• Religious abuse

Relationships with a trauma bond have a clear imbalance of power between the individuals involved. In some cases, drugs may be used to coerce people into toxic and traumatic relationships. Emerge Recovery TX helps women recover from substance use disorder (SUD) and trauma-related disorders. 

The Importance of Recognizing Trauma Bonds

Trauma bonds impact all areas of a person’s life and how they respond to others. In addition, abusive relationships have a profound effect on a person’s mental and physical well-being. Recognizing signs of a trauma bond can help people know when to reach out for help or treatment. 

Origins of the Term

The psychologist Dr. Patrick Carnes was the first person to use the term “trauma bond” as a way to describe situations where survivors of abuse become emotionally attached to their abusers. According to The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitative Relationships page on Dr. Carnes’ official website, “Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds–chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them . . . All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power.” The term has been used to describe many types of exploitative relationships. 

Emerge Recovery TX uses the term “trauma bond” to educate clients and help them better understand the root cause of their addictive behaviors or mental health symptoms. Understanding trauma bonding and how it impacts thoughts and behaviors increases the effectiveness of talk therapy and other trauma treatments. 

Evolution of Understanding in Psychology

Behavioral responses to trauma have been studied by experts all around the world. Some researchers disagree with the current clinical criteria used to identify and describe various forms of trauma bonding, including Stockholm syndrome. According to the European Journal of Psychotraumatology, “One particularly problematic term for survivors of kidnapping, as well as trafficking, interpersonal violence, and sexual abuse is ‘Stockholm syndrome.’” Terms like trauma bonding and Stockholm syndrome are problematic because they have “been interpreted to assume that there is a relationship between perpetrator and victim that reflects mutual care and affection between them, but that mutuality does not exist in cases of abduction, abuse, and perceived life threat.” 

Psychology researchers are still working to develop a more accurate term and description for instances of trauma bonding. 

Psychological Foundations

The psychological foundations of trauma bonding include:

• Behavioral and emotional stress responses 
• Survival instincts 
• Various attachment patterns 
• Powerful and unhealthy connections between two or more people 

People causing the harm take advantage of how the brain responds to stress by using intermittent reinforcement and other forms of manipulation to affect another person’s ability to function independently. The mind uses automatic coping methods to manage stress during traumatic events. For example, individuals with Stockholm syndrome build a connection with their captor that helps them feel less vulnerable in a situation where they feel mortal danger. According to the Office of Justice Programs (OJP), “At an unconscious level, the ego has activated the proper defense mechanisms in the correct sequence–denial, regression, identification, or introjection–to achieve survival.” Defense mechanisms allow people to function in high-stress situations. Abusers use those mechanisms to exert more control. 

Every relationship is unique and has a different psychological foundation. Treatment involves identifying the psychological factors at play and addressing them using evidence-based treatments. 

Attachment Theory

Attachment theory looks at the psychological effects of long-term relationships. Often, attachment theory is used to explain the bonds between children and caregivers or romantic couples. However, the theory also applies to other relationships and social connections. 

Secure and insecure attachments are two of the four forms of connections people make with others during childhood. Attachment styles in childhood have a direct effect on attachment styles in adulthood. 

Secure attachment styles involve the following: 

• High self-worth
• Trust
• Open communication
• Honesty
• Stability
• A balance between independence and intimacy

Insecure attachments include the following: 

• Inconsistencies
• Emotional distance 
• Distrust 
• Conflict
• Fear of abandonment 

A person’s attachment style impacts how they respond to traumatic or high-stress relationships. People with an insecure attachment style have a higher risk of developing trauma bonds. 

Stockholm Syndrome: A Parallel Phenomenon

Many people have heard of Stockholm syndrome in movies and other forms of popular media. The Swedish criminologist and psychologist Nils Bejerot coined the term “Stockholm syndrome” when he was asked to advise on a 1973 case where hostages formed unusual attachments to bank robbers holding them hostage. Stockholm syndrome is not a psychological disorder. Instead, it is a way of understanding attachments between people in situations where they are held against their will and subjected to abuse. 

Mechanics of Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonding takes place in unusual circumstances where people are subjected to extreme situations and high levels of emotional distress. Trauma bonding often forms due to multiple prolonged cycles of devaluation and positive reinforcement. Abusers use dehumanizing behaviors to stress the other person and then kindness and positive reinforcement to strengthen the bond and make the person reliant on them for emotional support. 

The Cycle of Abuse

Abusers and captors follow a cycle of abuse, which often involves the following steps:

#1. Tension Building Phase: Abusers become aggressive, violent, or argumentative. Often, this stage involves yelling, verbal or physical threats, fighting, and coercion. The tension builds, and people experiencing the abuse may feel like something worse is coming.

#2. Acute Incident Phase: Explosive violence, which often culminates in physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. Usually, this stage causes the most severe physical and emotional harm. 

#3. Reconciliation Phase: The abuser becomes apologetic and may give gifts to make up for their behaviors or promise never to cause pain to the other person again. The reconciliation phase is also sometimes called the “honeymoon phase” because abusers may act sweet and charming to regain the trust of the person they have harmed. 

#4. Calm Phase: Cycles of abuse have a quiet period between the reconciliation phase and a repeat of the tension-building phase. People often gain a false sense of security before the cycle starts again. 

Emotional Dependence and Intermittent Reinforcement

People who are emotionally dependent on their partner or other people in their lives are more likely to experience abuse and trauma bonding. According to BioMed Research International, “Violence and controlling behaviors may result in abusive relationships; many researchers have shown that the underlying causes of those behaviors are not only based on levels of aggression but also acted as a means of maintaining the subject’s own sense of self-worth, identity, and general functioning.” 

Abusers often provide intermittent emotional support and encouragement to keep the other person invested in the relationship and reliant on them. 

Identifying Trauma Bonds

Many individuals in unhealthy relationships have difficulty recognizing trauma bonds. Part of the abusive cycle involves making the relationship seem loving and supportive. Some people find it challenging to look at their relationships objectively. However, identifying the signs of potential trauma bonds can motivate some people to get the help they need. 

Potential signs of a trauma bond include the following: 

• Defending, justifying, or excusing the other person’s harmful behaviors 
• Having all areas of life revolve to some degree around the other person and their behaviors 
• A desire to help the other person “get better” despite their abusive behavior 
• An unwillingness to leave the relationship out of a sense of fear, loyalty, or shame
• Not feeling safe expressing honest feelings with the other person out of fear

Individuals who identify with the red flags listed above may have a trauma bond and could benefit from trauma-informed therapy. In many cases, abusers use multiple methods to keep people from leaving them, including supplying alcohol or other substances. For example, a husband may coerce their wife into taking substances and then threaten to report them to child services if they try to leave. Emerge Recovery TX helps women recover from substance abuse and heal from the damage caused by trauma bonds. 

Signs in the Victim

Some of the emotional symptoms someone may experience if they have a trauma bond include: 

• Feelings of shame or guilt 
• Emotional numbness or feeling emotionally drained 
• Anxiety 
• Intrusive thoughts about the abuser or the trauma 
• Fear of abandonment or punishment 

People also change their behaviors when they experience trauma bonding. A few behavioral indications of trauma bonding include:

• Repeatedly trying to “fix” the other person 
• Trusting the other person despite being frequently harmed by them 
• An inability to leave clearly unhealthy relationships 

Signs in the Abuser

Abusers use many manipulative tactics to get people to like, trust, and forgive them. Some of the tactics used by abusers include: 

• Isolating the other person from friends, family, and social support
• Gaslighting 
• Blaming the other person for any conflict within the relationship 
• Ensuring the other person feels dependent on the relationship 
• Exploiting vulnerabilities

Abusers use patterns of control to coerce the other person into relying on them entirely for emotional and practical support. The exact method of coercion depends on many factors and the other person’s vulnerabilities.

Consequences of Trauma Bonding

Any relationship between two or more people can develop a trauma bond. However, trauma bonds are more likely to form between individuals in a romantic relationship. People who live together or spend much of their time together have a greater chance of developing toxic and unhealthy dynamics if one is manipulative or abusive. Below are some of the potential consequences of trauma bonds. 

Psychological Impact

A few examples of the psychological impact of trauma bonds include: 

• Decreased self-worth and self-esteem affecting a person’s ability to function and cope with everyday stressors
• The development of mental health disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or major depressive disorder (MDD)
• Trauma responses, including hyperarousal or dissociative events

Physical Health Implications

A person’s physical health may also be affected by traumatic relationships. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to manage the physical or emotional effects of trauma. Substance abuse has a profound adverse impact on physical health. 

Some physical side effects of trauma include: 

• High blood pressure 
• Exhaustion 
• Sleep disturbances
• Psychosomatic symptoms 
• Altered menstrual cycle and hormonal changes 
• Gastrointestinal issues 
• Body aches 
• Changes in appetite 

Social Repercussions

Trauma bonding affects individuals, families, and communities. Often, abusers or captors isolate people from others to better control them and make them dependent on the relationship. Entire communities may feel threatened by the actions of a single aggressor if their behaviors keep loved ones separated or cause widespread fear and pain. Educating individuals and communities on how to recognize the signs of abuse reduces the risk by making it easier for people to get help or avoid unhealthy relationships. 

Breaking Free: Overcoming Trauma Bonds

Overcoming trauma bonds is incredibly difficult and takes time. Romantic or caregiver relationships affected by trauma bonds often develop gradually, making it challenging for people to recognize when they have fallen into an unhealthy or toxic relationship. However, getting professional help is the best way to heal and recover once a person realizes their situation. 

Seeking Professional Help

Professional mental health treatment makes it easier for people recovering from trauma to find healthy ways to manage the symptoms and side effects. People diagnosed with substance use disorder and co-occurring trauma-related disorders can attend outpatient treatment programs designed to address dual diagnosis using trauma-informed care. Most clients in recovery benefit from participating in individual therapy and support groups. 

Self-Help and Coping Strategies

Self-care is an essential part of recovery from traumatic relationships or events. Self-help is a form of self-care. Some standard self-help coping strategies include: 

• Creating a solid support system 
• Practicing mindfulness
• Using available resources to reduce stress

Self-help strategies increase self-esteem and self-confidence. 

Rebuilding Trust and Establishing Healthy Relationships

Re-establishing trust in others is perhaps one of the hardest parts of recovery from traumatic relationships. Many people have difficulty setting boundaries or engaging in healthy behaviors within relationships without the help of therapy and peer support. Building trust takes time and a willingness to work hard to establish healthy relationships. 

Prevention and Education

Preventing trauma bonds is the best way to reduce the risk of developing trauma-related mental health issues or co-occurring substance abuse. Communities and families must educate individuals on the dangers of unhealthy relationships. 

Importance of Early Education on Relationships

Teens and young adults benefit from being educated on how to set clear boundaries and develop healthy relationships. Parental figures can model healthy relationships and appropriate interactions, allowing children and young adults to understand the importance of avoiding unhealthy behaviors. According to the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, “Parent-infant attachment relationships . . . provide the earliest contexts for children’s relational health.” Parental figures and community leaders have the opportunity and responsibility to educate children and young adults on how to form healthy relationships and find help if they experience abuse. 

Resources and Initiatives for Awareness

Emerge Recovery TX helps women locate resources for overcoming challenges related to trauma. Treatment programs provide women with a safe space to grow and empower one another. Peer support helps women in recovery regain trust in others and create healthy relationships. 

Trauma bonds are built from unhealthy relationships. People who experience trauma bonds often have difficulty recognizing the signs of abuse or getting the help they need to escape dangerous situations. Trauma bonds happen in many different types of situations. However, the most common involve romantic relationships. Some abusers use substance use or other forms of coercion to keep control of their partner. Recognizing and escaping from those relationships is often challenging. Emerge Recovery TX provides women with a safe space and welcoming community where they can heal from trauma and learn to trust again. Trauma bonds stop people from living fulfilling lives. Emerge Recovery TX helps people retake control of their future. To learn more, call (737) 237-9663.