Intimacy is an integral piece of healthy romantic relationships, but can too much intimacy become problematic? Social media is bursting with sex positive content, further blurring the line between healthy sexual experiences and sex and love addiction for those who might be struggling. While we want to encourage young women to love their bodies, live confidently, and be autonomous, hypersexuality is a behavior individuals should be aware of; especially those who have experienced trauma and substance use disorder.

Definition of Hypersexuality

According to the Mayo Clinic, hypersexuality, also known as compulsive sexual behavior, is an “intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that can’t be controlled”. Hypersexuality can include commonly enjoyable sexual and consensual experiences such as: 

• Masturbation
• Cybersex or Phone Sex 
• Multiple Sexual Partners 
• The Use of Pornography 
• Paying for Sex 

These intimate activities can be healthy sexual expressions that bring emotional and physical safety for all involved. However, the overindulgence, emotional weight, and risk of these experiences is a key differentiator for folks struggling with problematic hypersexuality.

Hypersexuality and Mental Health 

The Cleveland Clinic shares 3 to 10% of the general U.S. population are affected by hypersexuality, and 88% of these individuals have a history of co-occurring mental health conditions. At Grace and Emerge, we typically see young women impacted by hypersexuality who are: 

• Survivors of Sexual Assault: Studies show women with a history of sexual assault are more at risk of experiencing post-assault related hypersexuality. Trauma can significantly impact a person’s sexual desire and understanding of healthy sexual experiences. 
  
  
• Those Experiencing Abandonment Wounds: People who have experienced loss such as a divorce or breakup may seek connection and attachment through sexual experiences. Additionally, those with a history of neglect and abuse from a family member may seek love and purpose through hypersexual behavior. 
  
  
• People Struggling with Codependency: Those who experience anxious attachment and feel as though their worth is contingent on others may suffer from hypersexuality. Young women who struggle with codependency may associate their worth with sex, leading to increased sexual engagement. 
  
  
• Survivors of Emotional Enmeshment: Being involved with family members or romantic partners with a deeply intertwined dynamic and lack of boundaries can make it difficult to identify healthy connections. This can lead to hypersexual behavior and the potential to determine self worth based on unhealthy sexual experiences. 

Although not treated as such, sex and love addiction can be just as damaging and consequential as other mental health and substance use disorders. Being aware of the signs of at risk behavior is crucial when considering seeking help.

Signs of Problematic Hypersexuality 

One study explored the criteria of problematic hypersexuality, focusing on individuals curious about their own potential sex addiction and if seeking treatment was necessary. The general indicators of hypersexuality in this study included:  

• An Obsession with Sex: Individuals suffering from hypersexuality find themselves spending a lot of time thinking about or taking part in anything related to sex. This fixation can affect a person’s ability to complete activities of daily living such as going to work and enjoying hobbies. Individuals should consider seeking treatment if these thoughts and activities become all consuming. 

• Unsuccessful at Quitting: Many folks who experience hypersexuality try to limit their sexual impulses with little to no success. Often this leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and hopelessness. 

• Continuing Despite Negative Consequences: With any addiction, individuals find it difficult to end the behavior, although they know it is not good for them. Many people suffering from sex and love addiction use intimacy as an escape from their problems, anxiety, and stress; making it insurmountably harder to quit without a proper support network.

• An Occurrence of Negative Consequences: Satiating problematic hypersexual urges can lead to detrimental repercussions. These include unhealthy and unstable relationships, financial problems, sexually transmitted infections, sexual offenses, substance abuse, and the development of co-occurring mental health conditions.

Becoming aware of problematic hypersexual behavior can cause shame and guilt, making it difficult to seek support. It is important to recognize that those experiencing sex and love addiction are not hopeless. Through proper education and care, these behaviors can be addressed leading to healing, self love, and healthy connections.

Get Help for Sex and Love Addiction

At Grace and Emerge, each client struggling with sex and love addiction receives a customized treatment plan to address their unique symptoms and expressions. Our community creates a safe place for young women to heal from problematic hypersexuality, broken relationships, unhealthy sexual encounters, and trauma. To this end, women at Grace and Emerge are able to recover and start a new chapter with healthy boundaries, fulfilling intimacy, and loving relationships. Contact us today to learn more.